The truth of the matter is I don’t think I’m very good at this cautious optimism thing.
In reality I am currently a nervous wreck, and have been since waking up from a nightmare this morning at 5:30 AM. I know I should be calm. I know I should relax. I know I should not give up hope.
But being here…in this state of limbo…of not knowing…is making me crazy. (And for someone who has been living with Depression for 13, probably more, years that’s saying a lot.)
EVERYTHING is on hold. EVERYTHING. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I have no control over the situation…which I hate more than I can articulate. I am, by definition, a complete control freak. So the fact that I have to wait and hope for the best is killing me.
Tomorrow’s results can not come quick enough